I do love when the world conspires in my favour. I mean, it doesn’t happen as often as I’d like, but that’s not the point. A few weeks ago I booked a train down to London to see my baby brother (FYI: a fully grown man at this point, but forever baby brother) and what pops up in my Instagram feed? This bad boy:
YES. Right up my book-strewn alley. The London Indie Press Book Fair is a free event organised by Dostoyevsky Wannabe and the Contemporary Small Press Project that invites independent presses to sell their books and zines, chat about industry trends and celebrate the industry we love – with drinks and snacks available, of course. Is it even a literary event if you don’t have a glass of red in your hand?
I wish I could have bought something from every press there, but there’s only so much a girl can carry back up north. Here’s what I picked up!
Happening by Annie Ernaux
Kong’s Garden by Hwang Jungeun
Bad Boy Poet by Scott Manley Hadley and Shitstorm by Fernando Strigotti
If you’re curious about all the indie presses that were there, here’s the full list:
Anyway, my fellow bookworms, I need to go and crack on with this growing to-be-read pile or there won’t be any book reviews. THE HORROR. If you’ve read any of these, or have any other indie publishers and presses you’d like to share, go for it!
It feels appropriate and a little serendipitous that I should ‘celebrate’ my subtle rebranding of this blog (we’re going to be a little less ‘all over the place’ and more ‘books’ from now on, kids) with this: The Testaments by Margaret Atwood. Holy shit do I have a treat for you.
Before we dive in, let’s do a quick recap of The Handmaid’s Tale. I first read it circa 2009 when I should have been revising for my A-levels, but naturally, I kept finding better things to do. I devoured that novel in two short days. Even now, as I type this, it’s as fresh in my mind as it was the day I read the last few words on the very last page. And that was more than 10 years ago.
The Republic of Gilead offers Offred only one function: to breed. If she deviates, she will, like dissenters, be hanged at the wall or sent out to die slowly of radiation sickness. But even a repressive state cannot obliterate desire – neither Offred’s nor that of the two men on which her future hangs.
To say this book had an impact on me would be a bit of an understatement, but neither one of us has all day. It helped me to understand and appreciate just how easily our rights – not just women’s rights, by the way – could be snatched away with the flourish of a pen in a room filled with privileged men. It’s our duty to guard the freedoms so hard-won by those who came and suffered before us.
Basically, I think it’s essential reading, especially if you’re interested in:
Politics and equal rights/feminism
Totalitarian societies with a generous splash of religious fanaticism
Moving swiftly on.
The Testaments by Margaret Atwood
Genre: Dystopian fiction
Length: 432 pages
Publisher: Chatto & Windus/Vintage
Other bits: Sunday Times #1 Best Seller, shortlisted for the 2019 Booker Prize
Set some 15 years after The Handmaid’s Tale, the narrative unfolds through the stories of three very different characters living at a pivotal time during the Gileadean regime. Things aren’t as solid as they seem in the first book; everything seems to be barely held together with chewing gum. The witness testimonies of two young women are joined by a third, older voice, belonging to one of Gilead’s key founding figures: Aunt Lydia.
Dear Readers: Everything you’ve ever asked me about Gilead and its inner workings is the inspiration for this book. Well, almost everything! The other inspiration is the world we’ve been living in.
It reads ‘easy’ in the sense that the prose flows beautifully and keeps you just hungry enough to get to the next word, page, chapter, story. But there’s nothing easy about the harrowing and at time heartbreaking details of what these women had to experience, witness, or even do.
I love how we get a closer, unflinching look at Aunt Lydia, one of the founding members of Gilead who we’ve only seen through Offred’s eyes thus far. This time, instead of seeing here purely as a stoic symbol of woman-on-woman oppression, Aunt Lydia is armed with a pen and set to tell her own story. We find out how she got there and what has to happen to a person to make them do things they would never have even considered back in their normal lives.
We get a closer look at what it’s like for girls growing up in Gilead – what kind of education do they get? How are the children of handmaids treated or viewed by society? What are the rules and rituals surrounding marriage? Delving deeper into the mythology of Gilead is a fascinating ride, I’ll tell you that much. I’m not one to give you spoilers. But be prepared to be very pissed off.
The ending? I loved it. Satisfying, although I did predict some parts of the resolution along the way – that doesn’t bother me much, but I do know that’s a pet peeve for some readers. Anyway, the ending: tantalizing enough to leave you wanting more, but we get the answers we need.
It’s more important than ever that we read and share stories like this one. That we stay vigilant when it comes to the rights we’ve won and yet remain, it seems, at the mercy of another entitled white male’s signature. Take what’s happening under Trump’s presidency, with Planned Parenthood. Or my home country, Malta, where women were – until relatively recently – denied so much as the morning-after pill, called sluts, murderers, and worse for wanting a say in what happens to their bodies. This is not fiction. This is happening.
History does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
And it’s not just about women’s rights. All our rights, no matter who you are or where you live, are about as permanent as the paper they’re printed on. Rip it up. Change a law. Add new laws. Close a clinic. Send in the military. Decide who’s allowed to read and write. Decide who can have a voice. It doesn’t happen all at once, you guys. It’s a slow burn. Before you know it, the whole house is on fire. Nolite te Bastardes Carborundorum.
So here’s the thing. A few years ago—a fair few more than I’d care to admit right now—I learnt about Books Are My Bag thanks to boss booktuber Leena Norms. This year, I can finally participate. I’m excited. And I want you to get excited too, so here’s a quick overview of it all.
What’s ‘Books Are My Bag’ about?
Once upon a time (2013 to be precise) the Booksellers Association created a clever campaign to celebrate magical places all over the UK. These places are your friendly neighbourhood bookshops. It’s all about supporting your local booksellers and appreciating every aspect of the book. From the beautiful cover art in front of you to delightful window displays, writers, editors, printer, marketers, and passionate booksellers—we’re here to celebrate it all, with each bookshop serving as a little private party just for you. TL;DR:it’s all about encouraging people to buy books in physical bookshops. Sounds good, right? Right.
With online retailers effectively taking the rug out from under brick-and-mortar shops, the overall aim of the campaign is to encourage readers all over the country to buy books locally. By doing that you’ll be feeding your (arguably healthy) addiction to books while supporting local businesses and helping to create jobs.
Oh, and your chances of stumbling upon a title you’ve never even heard of increase dramatically when you shop the old-fashioned way. Amazon can make all the (paid) suggestions it likes—nothing beats a real-life recommendation from someone who really loves books, or being drawn to a stunning cover in a genre that you might not have considered otherwise. BAMB is made up of a couple of ‘smaller’ events:
The BAMB Readers Awards, where you can vote for your favourite fresh-pressed reads of the year, and nominate something for the Readers’ Choice Award (anything, be it newly published or classic).
Bookshop Day (5th October 2019), a day for you to go out, explore bookshops, and do some guilt-free book shopping.
Independent Bookshop Week: this week of bookbug fun is made up of fabulous things like book crawls, author signings, reading groups, storytelling sessions, literary lunches and the like. Each shop does its own thing!
Save the date: Independent Bookshop Week 2020 = 20 – 27 June.
Bookshops in Newcastle upon Tyne
I’ve been living in Newcastle for over two years now, but I’ve got to admit that finding indie bookshops to put on this list was a bit of a struggle. If you know any, leave a comment – I’d love to build up a list of bookshops big and small to share with you guys. Anyway, here’s where you can go to celebrate #BookshopDay this Saturday and enjoy some bookish self-indulgence:
Seven Stories (specialising in children’s books, perfect for getting the kids involved!)
NewBridge Books (technically Gateshead but I’m super excited about this one so it’s staying)
Independent Bookshops in North East England
There are a few more bookshops I wanted to mention based on my own experience and my friends’ recommendations. They’re just a metro or train ride away, so I thought I’d pop them in here and add to the list as they come:
So that’s that. Books are my bag. They very much are. Follow my shenanigans on Instagram, and let me know if you’ve got any bookshops you think should be on my list! My bank balance won’t thank you, but I definitely will.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I’d apologise for the radio silence over the last few months but that’d mean apologising for dealing with life itself. Besides, it feels a little presumptuous to apologise as though people were waiting for me to post something here. So let’s skip the pleasantries and get right into it, shall we?
I recently moved into a bigger bedroom, and it was during the third or fourth trip upstairs with an armful of books that I realised how out of hand my reading backlog had become. I’ve been on a relatively strict (for me) book-buying ban for a while now, and the plan is not to buy any new books until I’ve worked my way through at least 20 novels. Hell, I might avoid buying any until I buy my own house just because I’m tired of hauling things around Newcastle for the time being. Anyway, on to the actual book.
The Beautiful and Damned (1922)
I loved every bit of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby (1925), so I’d been looking for another of his novels to get stuck into for a while when I came across this strong title; even if you’ve never heard of the guy, you’ve got to admit he’s got a knack for titles. So without really reading the blurb, Fitzgerald’s second novel made its way into my not-so-little collection. I found it to be a bit of a slow burn at first, but things do pick up when Anthony Patch, the protagonist, sets his sights on a sparkling socialite named Gloria Gilbert. That might sound like the introduction to a soppy romcom, but trust me, it’s not.
The Beautiful and Damned is a novel of decadence. It follows Anthony, a somewhat lackadaisical-but-jittery socialite and heir to his grandfather’s fortune, through his courtship and relationship with free-spirited Gloria. Slivers of World War I make it into the plot, but that’s far from the main focus of the story; what I can’t shake is the sense of apathy and indolence that seems to radiate from the two characters – Anthony in particular. It is a meditation on love and money, certainly, but there also seems to be this running theme of action versus inaction throughout the novel, primarily because the protagonists are crippled by an idealisation of, and obsession with, the past, to the extent that it consumes their present. As a reader, I almost want to reach into the text and shake the two twenty-somethings awake, at once frustrated by the nothing that they seem adept at doing and exasperated by selfishness so incredible it borders on narcissism.
“Tired, tired with nothing, tired with everything, tired with the world’s weight he had never chosen to bear.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned
So in terms of how effective the novel is in making me feel things as a reader, I’d say it’s pretty damn good. The writing itself is beautiful, almost poetic at times, but I wouldn’t describe it as un-put-down-able.
“Things are sweeter when they’re lost. I know–because once I wanted something and got it. It was the only thing I ever wanted badly, Dot, and when I got it it turned to dust in my hand.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned
It’s definitely worth a read, especially if you’re interested in Fitzgerald beyond his most popular work. You know, the one so many people love because of Leonardo di Caprio. No shade.
Have you read anything by F. Scott Fitzgerald? What did you think? Thoughts and recommendations welcome in the comments below!
If you know me, you’ll know that I have something of an addiction to books. I own roughly 350 books spread across 4 bookshelves around my house, and I have absolutely no intention of stopping until I get my own Beauty and the Beast style library. Am I asking for too much? Possibly. Will I give up? Unlikely. Anyway, unhealthy obsession aside – I’m starting a series of blog posts called #CurrentlyReading – essentially book reviews before I’ve finished the book, just because the book in question is just too damn good to wait (or too terrible to continue).
To kick off this literary love-affair, I’m excited to share Caitlin Moran’s How to Be a Woman, published in 2011 by Ebury Press. I first heard about Moran through one of my favourite BookTubers (Leena from JustKissMyFrog), and put her on my to-read list along with another 20 or so books. I completely forgot that I wanted to buy How to Be a Woman until I saw it at Blackwell’s in Newcastle (also known as my second personal nirvana after Waterstones) and quickly snapped it up before my little brain could forget again. I am now hooked. This book is part-memoir, part-humour, and 100% pure wit. She takes us through her own life, from awkward childhood through to impossible puberty and that mysterious thing called Womanhood in a seemingly effortless thread of questions, like:
Why do women get Brazilians?
Do we have to get Brazilians?
Why is everyone asking me about babies?
Why is everyone asking me about my love life?
Why is everyone getting married?
What about porn?
Why do bras hurt?
Is there a better name for ‘the vagina’?
What are the worst names for ‘the vagina’?
What’s this ‘fashion’ thing?
And so on and so forth, hilariously mingled with Moran’s very relatable personal anecdotes. I rarely laugh-out-loud when reading, but this one has had me snorting cappuccino out of my nose in the most unattractive way possible. One of the blurbs on the cover is from Grazia and describes the book as, “The book EVERY woman should read.” Quite frankly I’d like to take this further and say anyone who is or indeed knows a woman should read it, even if it’s just for the laughs. We do our best learning when we’re laughing anyway. I like to think so, at least.
Let me know if you’ve read this book or anything else by Caitlin Moran in a comment below! What are your thoughts? Is this something you’d read?
As a self-confessed book-hoarder, bookworm, and bibliophile, having an out-of-control list of books I want to read is a part of the job. Another thing we book-fiends revel in is talking, writing, and gushing about books until we hear the gentle click of the kettle as it comes to a boil. Enough chit chat – on to the books!
I’m utterly obsessed with vikings and Norse mythology, and I think Neil Gaiman is just fantastic. When I hit Waterstones in Newcastle and saw this beautiful hardback edition of a book that merged those two things together, I just had to have it.
Now this is actually a collection of poems by English spoken-word poet, Kate Tempest. I only really started to appreciate poetry when I was reading for my degree in English, but since then I’ve more than made up for it by making time to read good poetry, especially by writers who are still alive and kicking today.
After falling hopelessly in love with The Great Gatsby and dealing with the inevitable book-hangover that followed, I’m ready for my next dose of Fitzgerald. Let’s say it – the man has a knack for badass titles.
This one is one of the heavier reads that I challenged myself to read a year ago. Ish. I’ve obviously failed. But I love John Steinbeck and will consider this blog post a promise that I will read it this year. Hold me to it, guys.
Ah, we end where we began – with norse mythology! The Elder Edda is a collection of anonymous, Old Norse poems alive with the culture and history of the people who created them. It was actually one of the texts that inspired J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings trilogy, so it gets my vote twice.
Have you read any of these? Let me know what you thought in a comment below.
Welcome to the first post of 2018, ladies and gents! We’re a little too late in the month to talk about such things as New Year’s Resolutions (I’d probably say something generic like ‘eat more fruit’ and ‘spend more time switching off from the online world’, you get the gist of things), so I thought we could dive right in with a few bits and pieces I’ve acquired over the festive season and first bit of January. Onward!
Okay, you might remember that when I finally made the big move to Newcastle, I was only able to bring about ten books with me. I own around 370+ books in total. It was difficult. Painful. My shelves were a little too empty for my liking, and the bookshops here are too tempting for my own good, so I have actually acquired a few new tomes (and brought a few back with me when I visited Malta last year).
The three at the top (Post Office, Factotum, Women) were Christmas gifts from my baby brother, and Love is a Dog from Hellwas something I picked up with a Waterstones gift voucher. Bukowski is one of my favourite poets of all time, but I’m ashamed to say I’ve never owned any of his books at all! I also picked up a copy of Stephen Fry’s Mythoswith another gift voucher. Lucky me!
Next up, the books I bought when I went to Barter Books in Alnwick (again). I might have mentioned this before, but Barter Books is a gorgeous little second-hand bookshop just an hour and twenty minutes away from Newcastle city centre by bus. It used to be a train station, and today looks like something out of Hogsmeade:
A while ago, I spent some time looking into the thrift/vintage shopping scene here in Newcastle. I love dipping into charity shops and hitting vintage shops to find unique bits and pieces to make my outfits stand out. Sort of. Anyway, I picked up this pendant from The Yesterday Society in Grainger Market:
As I type this out on the fly in my favourite coffee shop, I’m on day three of teetering on the edge of a cliff. Fall off that precarious ledge, ladies and gentlemen, and we plummet headfirst into that oh-so-annoying thing called an anxiety spiral.
This manifests differently in different people and it can be triggered by any combination of things; hormones, alcohol, changes in your life, being faced with decisions, public speaking, social interactions, the wrong word at the wrong time, something embarrassing you did five years ago, et cetera. The list is virtually never-ending, and the effects can be crippling to some, and plain inconvenient to others. I’ve experienced situations which had me feeling so helpless, I couldn’t leave my bed all day except to use the bathroom. It wasn’t great.
The anxiety spiral
Personally, the main thing that gets to me during one of these spirals is the obsessive part. If something sets me off, I get tunnel vision and can’t see anything or anyone else but that thing causing the anxiety. And to be quite honest, it can feel like my mind is unravelling at the time.
It’s the end of the world to me, even if to my friends or family it shouldn’t even a blip on the stress radar. I’m the worst person ever, how can anyone stand me let alone like me, I’m the most annoying thing ever to walk the earth, I’m probably too loud and talk too much, I’m not actually a good writer, I’m not really good at my job, I’m not a good person, I’ve probably offended someone today, I sound stupid, and that person who saw me drunk three years ago probably still laughs at me sometimes. This is just a snippet of the thoughts that swirl, quite mercilessly, around in my head when it’s happening; your reality is distorted, and even though what you want most in the world is someone to stroke your hair and say everything is fine, you know you also won’t believe a damn word of it. You’ll probably think they’re just saying that to make you feel better. I guess the best you can do in that situation is to trust your support system to be honest with you.
For people dealing with anxiety know that it generally comes with physical manifestations too – anything from a quickened heartbeat or nausea to a full-blown panic attack. Everyone has their own version of this personal hell, in varying degrees, and I can only tell you what it’s like for me. I’m lucky to have never dealt with a real panic attack, but having your mind obsess and your heart feel like it’s going to bust out of your chest is also deeply unpleasant. Logically, I know my ‘fight or flight’ is kicking in and the adrenaline is making my body feel panic, but that does little to help me at the time.
How I’m dealing with my anxiety
For a long, long time, I didn’t know that this thing that was happening to me had a name or that it was happening to countless others in the world. I was weird and panicky sometimes, that was it. It always passed – but it also always came back.
I got a little older and took time to really dig down into what it was I felt, what triggered those feelings and what made me feel better when it happened. Fast forward to this weekend, and I’ve actually written down, on two sticky notes, the things that aggravate my anxiety and the things that help me manage it. Almost like an ‘in case of emergency’ reminder. Here’s a snippet:
Things that make it worse
PMS. Lord Jesus, PMS.
Drinking more than two or three glasses of wine.
Too much coffee.
Being disorganised or messy.
Falling behind on deadlines.
Not taking the time to cook meals.
The possibility that I’ve hurt someone’s feelings.
And then overthinking this for hours on end.
Not being active.
Spending time on social media.
Things that (therefore) make it better
Regular exercise – get those happy hormones a-flowin’.
A clean bedroom and freshly laundered sheets.
Five-minute meditations – I use an app called ‘Calm’.
Cutting down on social media.
I highly recommend switching off notifications as a trial if you’re uncomfortable with completely ridding your phone of the usual suspects.
Reading for leisure.
Making lists (evidently).
Staying on top of my work.
Doing things to make other people happy.
Sketching, writing, or playing videogames.
Spending time by the sea.
Puppies. Lots of puppies.
Drinking less coffee, and avoiding it after 5pm.
Evening Primrose oil. That shit is legit.
Getting out of bed and having a shower even when it seems like the hardest thing ever.
Talking about it with someone I trust.
Of course, I’m not against the use of medication to help with anxiety and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Pharmaceuticals should absolutely not be demonized or viewed as some sort of necessary evil; I have loads of friends who tell me how their lives have been massively improved by anti-anxiety meds, and I’m happy for them. I’m just trying my own thing first, and that’s okay too.
Anyway, I just thought I’d share what I’m doing to keep a handle on things and stay balanced when anxiety makes that difficult. Sharing this kind of stuff helps others who might be struggling with it, so I’m all over that.
I’d love to hear what you do when this demon scratches at your door, so feel free to share your tips in the comments!
Another blog post and yet another book my fellow bookwormy friends. I was re-watching Mad Men for the umpteenth time and noticed that Don Draper’s lady-friend, Joy, was reading The Sound and the Fury in one of the episodes. I’ve wanted to read something by William Faulkner for a while, and the title of this particular work is – let’s face it – pretty badass. I’m half way through the novel right now, and wanted to share my thoughts with you guys.
The first thing that struck me was the way he brings together the stream of consciousness technique with a certain ‘bare’ quality that I just love. What do I mean? Here’s an excerpt:
When the shadow of the sash appeared on the curtains it was between seven and eight o’ clock and then I was in time again, hearing the watch. It was Grandfather’s and when Father gave it to me he said I give you the mausoleum of all hope and desire; it’s rather excruciating-ly apt that you will use it to gain the reducto absurdum of all human experience which can fit your individual needs no better than it fitted his or his father’s. I give it to you not that you may remember time, but that you might forget it now and then for a moment and not spend all your breath trying to conquer it. Because no battle is ever won he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools.
That. Last. Line.
It’s not the easiest read in the world, so give yourself some time to settle into the book and adjust to the character’s perception in each chapter. The Sound and the Fury is probably best described as a tragedy, so don’t read this if you’re looking for a light, happy story, and get ready for some messed up lives and fragmented family happenings.
Oh, and I find it best to read Faulkner without any distractions (e.g. TV, Netflix, YouTube – forget about it). At the very most, some instrumental music or the background buzz of a bustling cafe’ will do.
Have you read anything by Faulkner? What do you think about his work?
If you’re in your late teens or early 20s, you’ll probably be looking at flying the nest and moving into your first houseshare. The taste of independence only just out of reach, and you want it more than a drunk me wants pizza.
Living in a house share is obviously cheaper than living solo, but it’s also a lot more fun if you’re moving to a new city and makes the whole ‘I need new friends’ thing easier to navigate, so I’d definitely recommend it.
Renting in the North East
Property in the North East is known to be more affordable than it is elsewhere in the UK. I can testify to the fact that Newcastle, in particular, isn’t just affordable in terms of its accommodation, but the cost of living is cheap too. You can rent a lovely room, in a house or apartment bang in the city centre, for somewhere in the region of £400 to £500, bills included. I personally used Spareroom to find my place, but there are loads of options if you just hit Google with the right keywords.
Top tip: Always check reviews for the real estate agency you’re thinking about using. You’d be surprised to learn just how many shady agencies are out there, and if you’re a student, you’ll be an even bigger target for ‘questionable’ landlords.
Sidenote: why I didn’t want to rent a property in Malta
In Malta, this time tends to come along a little later in life because rent and property costs are extortionately high thanks to the obscene hike in prices we’ve seen following the gaming industry boom. The average cost of renting a property in a central location in Malta (by which I mean a room in an apartment or a one-bedroom ‘cosy’ apartment) would set you back around €700 to €1000 a month without bills.
Anything cheaper than that is either a golden nugget of a find or somewhere with questionable standards, to say the least. That’s the lion’s share of your typical Maltese salary, living very little for things like food, savings, and a social life after you’ve paid bills. No thanks. Moving swiftly on.
Tips for living in a house share
One of the best things about moving out of your parents’ place and sharing a home with people you’re not related to is that you’ll learn how to live alongside folks who come from different backgrounds to your own. You might become a little family unit away from home and watch Great British Bake Off together every week, or have an absolutely awful time because people are funny. Here are a few tips to avoid the latter, or at least help you handle potentially awkward situations.
1 | Always pay your share of the bills on time
Nobody wants to be that housemate. If one of you has taken responsibility for calculating and paying the bills each month, the rest of the house needs to put up their share sharpish.
The best way to avoid any dilly-dallying when it comes to money matters is to send out an email each month with a breakdown of the bills and the details for the account that everyone needs to transfer over to, with a deadline tacked onto it. Make sure the deadline you set for everyone gives you enough time for the money to come in before bills go out.
2 | Don’t leave passive-aggressive notes
You’re grown-ups. Kind of. You need to be able to talk things out, especially when they’re essentially nothing more than minor misunderstandings. Sticky notes and passive aggressive texts (especially ones that start with ‘can we please remember…’) just piss everybody off, so put on your grown-up panties and talk it out face to face before things get weird.
Before you get to the stage where you’re absolutely vibrating with rage because Brenda left her dirty dishes out longer than you’d like, take a breather. Remember that just because you like to live your life a certain way, doesn’t mean others have to adhere to your cleaning schedule and whatnot. That being said, if Brenda’s leaving her crap all over the house for four or five days at a time, it’s time for an intervention. Not over text.
3 | Organize house dinners
This is the perfect way to bond with your housemates, show off your cooking skills (or try and sharpen them up), and create a warm ‘family’ atmosphere.
Good food, good wine, and some background music set the scene for a little camaraderie and a lot of laughs. Also, it’s always kind of awesome to come back to a home-cooked meal once in a while when you’re no longer being fed by your mum on the regular.
4 | Respect boundaries and space
I’m going to say this one time and one time only: do not assume you can wander in and out of anyone’s bedroom. It doesn’t matter how close you are, and it doesn’t matter if Wendy left her Netflix running and you can’t stand the murmur of Orange is the New Black leaking out into the hallway. It doesn’t even matter if Brenda left her bedroom light on. You do not. Go in. Their rooms. Okay? Okay.
Beyond your bedroom, every other space in a house share is communal. Having a private space that you know people aren’t going to have access to (unless you’ve expressly given that permission) is essential if you’re going to hold on to that precious sanity and zen. For those of us who might struggle with such things as ‘personal space’, ‘boundaries’, and ‘basic human decency’, here are a few quick bits to remember:
It’s not your room.
If you’ve knocked once or twice, to no avail, do not just walk in. Silence ain’t consent (THIS ONE WORKS ON SO MANY LEVELS).
Just because you’re fine with people wandering into your room, doesn’t mean the rest of the world feels the same.
Why do you even need to get into that room? What’s so urgent? That’s what I thought. Take your hand off the door handle, Bernice.
Oh, and while we’re here, respect for spaces also applies to communal areas. Other people use that space, so make sure you leave things clean and ready for the rest of the house to use it.
Right, my fellow twenty-somethings, that’s it from me. I hope these quick tips save you some awkwardness in the long run, and if they don’t, well, I tried. 10 points to me.
If you have any tips on living with people you’re not related to, hit me up in the comments!