Funny

10 Things Women in Malta are Sick of Hearing

While I’m pretty sure there are more than 10 things that women on this little bit of the Mediterranean are tired of dealing with, we needed to keep things concise for the sake of practicality. And for the sake of my own sanity.

This post was inspired by some ridiculously sexist comments made by a certain Maltese “blogger” who thought it was a good idea to ridicule a woman for having body hair because, well, she’s a member of the opposition. Yes – body shaming is now a tactic being used by a blogger on our “feminist” government’s payroll. Using our taxes. Anyway, on to the post!

1 | “Women should shave their [insert body part here].”

things women are tired of hearing

Why? Why is someone else’s body hair your concern? Why do you think it’s okay to ridicule or judge a person for making a personal choice about their own body? It’s basically like going to someone’s house and insulting their choice of decor because it’s not to your taste. By all means, do whatever you want with your body, but keep your feelings about other people’s body hair to yourself. It’s plain rude.

2 | “Ladies don’t swear.”

Why the fuck not? Does it clash with your established and antiquated notions of femininity? Does it displease you? Does it reduce my chances of finding a man? WILL I LOSE MY DOWRY? Shit, I seem to have wandered out of the kitchen again. Sincerest fucking apologies.

things women are tired of hearing

3 | “Aw koxxa! Aw gisem!Aw sex! Very nice eh swijt! etc.”

Translation: CATCALLS OF ANY KIND

I wish I knew who invented The Catcall. What do they expect? They call us something gross and we’ll turn around, pink-cheeked and feverish with desire, to say: “Yes! This is the man I have been looking for! Get out of that passenger seat and ravish me, good sir!” THIS. NEVER. HAPPENS. Sometimes, they even slow the  car down and drive  alongside you as you try to ignore them. Yeah, that’s not creepy at all.

things women are tired of hearing

4 | “U iva, take it as a compliment.”

I’m sorry, what? If being catcalled on my way  to work was a compliment, I’d take it as one. This, however, is harassment. Being told to take that sort of thing as a compliment is the same dangerous mentality that gets drummed into girls when they’re still in primary school: “Oh honey he’s being mean because he likes you!” This is not what we should be teaching girls because it increases the risk of them accepting unacceptable behaviour later on in life. “He’s being mean because he likes you” isn’t that far away from “he hits me because he loves me”. Cut that bullshit.

things women are sick of hearing

5 | “Jaqaw it’s that time of the month?”

Are we still saying this in 2017?

things women are tired of hearing

6 | “You look prettier when you smile!”

And you look cuter when you stop giving me tips on how to be more visually appealing to the masses. If you want me to smile say something funny so I can ugly-laugh and make that snorty noise while I do it. Also this is how my face is by default so I can’t help it.

things women are tired of hearing

7 | “That’s way too much make up, I prefer a more natural look.”

Why didn’t you say so? If that’s what you like, we recommend a nude lip, some BB cream with SPF in it, a hint of blush and a dash of mascara. Oh, you were talking about how you prefer your women? Never mind.

things women are tired of hearing

8 | “You look like a slut./Qisek qaħba.”

I wrote a whole article entitled What Does a Slut look like? recently. If you don’t have time to read that, just refer to the gif below.

mean girls slut

9 | “Well, what were you wearing? How much did you drink? Did you lead him on? Did you say no? Why were you walking home alone?”

These kinds of questions are often hurled at rape victims or victims of some kind of sexual harassment in rapid succession. Unfortunately, this victim-blaming culture and refusal to understand the notion of sexual consent is still going strong in Malta. If a girl gets raped, why is she being asked about what she was wearing? Are there clothes that allow or justify rape? The answer is ‘fuck no’. Rather than ‘don’t get raped’, the message needs to be ‘DON’T RAPE’.

things women are tired of hearing

10 | [Any sort of attempt to control women’s reproductive rights]

Especially when that attempt involves refusing to sell or stock emergency contraception based on bullshit ‘conscientious grounds’.

things women are tired of hearing


-Kelly

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thoughts

My Top 5 YouTubers Right Now

If memory serves, the first Youtuber I ever properly followed was Ray William Johnson from =3, a channel devoted to taking a look at recent viral videos with hilarious commentary and an excellent Watchmen comic background. This was around 7 or 8 years ago, and although I’ve ditched poor Ray I’ve discovered a bunch of new content creators that have me absolutely hooked on their channels. Here are 5 of my favourites in no particular order!

iisuperwomanii – Lilly Singh

I first followed Lilly Singh because I thought her videos were just plain funny (especially the ones where she’d parody her own parents), but quickly discovered that ‘Superwoman’ was an all-round inspirational powerhouse encouraging women to build each other up in a world where we’re taught to see each other as competition. Bravo, Lilly.

Sharla In Japan / Sharmander

This Canadian ray of sunshine is one of my all time favourites when I’m looking for anything and everything related to Japan. I’m planning to visit the country in the near future, so her videos give some great insight into what Japan is like, where you might like to visit, and what kind of (sometimes rather strange) food you should sample. And there is a very, very cute cat named ‘Maru’ involved.

NB: It’s almost impossible to mention Sharla without giving a quick shoutout to awesome Youtubers like Kim Dao, Taylor R, Rachel and Jun, Micaela, Mimei, and Texan in Tokyo. In truth, I watch all of these brilliant J-vloggers in equal measure! 

Abroadin Japan – Chris Broad

Are you sensing a theme here? I confess – I’m a little obsessed with Japan. Chris Broad is the sarcastic and dry-humoured host of Abroad in Japan, an excellent channel covering a pretty awesome range of topics, including personal favourites like ’12 Tips for Learning Japanese’, ‘Teaching Swear Words to Japanese People’, and ‘Reading your Ridiculous Hate-filled comments’. Here’s the video that got me hooked on the channel:

4 Refinery 29

This channel is just top quality when it comes to lifestyle videos, but my absolute favourite series is called Try Living with Lucy. Lucy Fink is a charismatic 20-something stop motion artist and YouTuber with a penchant for taking up 5-day challenge like this one below – it almost got a heavy sleeper like me into waking up early, and that’s saying something!

5 Just Kiss My Frog – Leena

I stumbled upon this quirky channel when looking for videos about studying English as an undergraduate many moons ago. I’ve been totally hooked ever since thanks to an intoxicating combination of brains, wit, (beautiful) books, body positivity, and a generally magical personality that has any subscriber feeling as though they’re sitting down for a cup of tea and a chat with their good friend Leena.

Do you have a favourite YouTuber I should know about? Just link me in a comment below! 

Kelly

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